Monthly Archives: November 2013

Love Me Sane

Chapter 1 March 1987

“What?” I yell as I fall from the bed onto the floor landing on my butt.  The repercussions of last night’s self-induced coma. It’s my dorm room suite mate. We’re not roommates. Our only connection is the phone built in the wall in between the two rooms. I don’t like her, I’ve given her a name. I call her the klepto from Carmel. She’s a rebel without a cause. The blonde-haired, blue-eyed princess can go into any store and within a matter of minutes rob them blind. The store clerk is too busy following me around to notice she’s the one stealing. Being from a family of old money there’s no reason for her to steal.

“Telephone.” Timidly, she hands me the phone through the box. She’s tried on several occasions to befriend me, but I see no point in it. Her friends are the elite whiners, the ones who’d rather snort coke than smoke a joint, or drink a beer through a bong instead of out of a can. They’re so sneaky and manipulative they can as an old acquaintance used to say, “Piss in your face, tell you it‘s raining and have you believe it. I don’t like loud mouth people who talk so much they bring my buzz down. When I’m high, I’m mellow and laid back.

While I’m on the floor, I reach up.  Thinking to myself if it’s my mother this time I’m gonna let her have it. For the last couple of months, she’s called me at 7:00 am. She knows something is going on with me. This makes me wonder how she missed the other signs.

“Hello.” I say.

“Hello Stacey.” Mother says. “What are you doing?”

“I’m sleeping.”

“Why is your neighbor always awake and you’re always asleep when I call?”

Along with the cottonmouth and the dizziness the agitation sets in.

“Because, I just got in.”

Feeling sick to my stomach from overdoing it last night while dancing, I lash out. I wonder what she’d say if she knew, I spent the night smoking pot, tripping on acid and eating mushrooms while dancing in a room full of perverted well to do old men? Who by the way paid a pretty penny for a lap dance and a three- minute erection.

“I’m calling to see how you’re doing.”

“I’m fine.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye Mom, I love you.”

‘I love you too.”

I hang up the phone, and I climb back into bed. The next call is from my friend Stephanie, she calls a little after one. Stephanie is a cool, laid back white girl who like me has had her share of hard knocks. We’re so close she trusts me with her money. She’s how I got introduced to the game. I started going with her so I could collect her money. She was too high to do two things at once, like dancing and maintaining her cash flow. Stephanie and I got along so well because our personalities could totally relate to each other. Both of us were very laid back. We were only uptight when we needed to be, but not usually. We would have survived the hippie generation with ease. She had the looks of a beauty queen, but never high maintenance. It was easy for her to make a thousand dollars in one night. After a while, I began making the same amount of money. At first, I thought it was me riding on her coat tail. Then I realized white men are just as attracted to black women as black men are attracted to white women. Both races are curious about the unknown.

“Hey girl whatcha doing?” The only sentence she ever spoke where she sounded like a black girl. Equally comfortable in our own skin, we never tried to be each other.

“I’m still lying down.”

“You’ve got to be kidding. It’s almost 2:00. What you still doing sleeping?”

“I’m tired as hell. What you doing up?”

“I’m calling to see if you wanna go shopping? I’d like to pick up some new teddies and go for a drink.”

“Okay, do you have any speed?”

“Yeah, I’ve got some Pink Hearts and Black Beauties.”

“Okay, meet me at my room. Don’t forget to bring me some energy.”

“Okay, see yaw in a bit.”

“Alright, later.”

I get up, grab my soap basket and shoes on my way to the shower. Still feeling groggy and slightly stumbling down the hall, the Carmel klepto says, “Are you okay?”

“Yeh, I’m fine. Hey listen, I’m sorry I was so mean to you this morning.”

“No problem.” She says.

After the shower, I take the elevator down the stairs, to stand in front of the all-girls dorm.

While I’m waiting, I smoke a cigarette.

Here comes Stephanie walking down the road, full of energy.  I look at her and say “What’s going on with you bitch? Why are you so energetic?” She tells me about the wild night she had with her friend Todd after we parted ways. She calls him her friend; I call him her fucking buddy.

“Did you bring the Pink Hearts and the Black Beauties?”

“Yeah, I brought both, you choose.”

The Black Beauties are too much to go with what’s already going on, so I take one Pink Heart and pop it into my mouth. We walk up to my dorm room. I grab my purse and keys. Slowly, we stroll to the bus stop to start our journey of getting ready for the night.

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