Love Me Sane Reviews

Conversation with Mary Campagna Findley Regarding Love Me Sane

Me

Just curious is the language too vulgar and what are your thoughts to this point?

Mary

For me the language was tough to deal with. I was thinking about what you could do differently but I am still thinking. I know many books that deal with the language and descriptions just as frankly as you do. At first it was upsetting but it is your story and maybe people need it like that.

Me

For many years I struggled going in and out of church because I didn’t think it was for people like me. Therefore I wrote this book specifically to the women who think God will never forgive them. Some people had said yeah but you can use other language well at that point in my life I would not have been able to make the connection. I needed people who were more like me to reach me and I grew up in the church and strayed. But women who have had my experiences and never grew up in church really have a lot of obstacles.

Mary

I agree with you that God may have brought you to this place to minister to those like yourself who need it told the way you tell it. I am just wondering if all the detail about the sexual encounters is helpful. Some is, I believe, but I’m not sure how much

Me

If you want to give me more information I will gladly listen but I know you have to get going because I’m so excited that you are reading my book that I could talk about this all day but I don’t think your daughter would appreciate that so get back with me

Mary

The family is not picking us up for another hour so it’s ok. I know what you mean about it being exciting to talk about your book. I want to reach through the computer and strangle these people who have bought and I have no feedback. Did you like it? Did you hate it? Tell me!

Me

LOL. I’m enjoying your book.  What about the sex scenes???

Mary

For me, personally, there is too much detail in the sex scenes. For unsaved people I think this book might be good for them because it might be what they are used to. I like the contrast you make between her relationship with her husband and the other men. I think many women have been taught sex in marriage is dirty and one-sided and all that. They are exploding for personal satisfaction but don’t know how to get it from their husband. There is a site called Christian Nymphos, for women looking for satisfaction in marriage. Some of them are very frank in the language they use. Maybe you could talk to some of them and they could help you more than I could.

Me

I missed the mark then. Because, the sex scenes are supposed to convey a mental not physical theme. The relationships with the other men stem from her not feeling loved by her husband but more so of her feelings of unworthiness. I’m more so trying to convey how women feel as a result of having been violated. The underlying message is mental and not physical. She’s just acting out for lack of a better term. This is how she’s dealing with her feelings of inadequacy. It really is about the manipulation, the lies and the deception. How her inability to trust men is displayed through these negative behaviors.

Stacey is tying to take back the control she feels she has lost. The control of her own body. Rape is not as crime of passion but of control therefore when she was raped she lost her control.  This is her way of regaining what she lost

Mary

This might sound like a stupid question, but the beginning of the book is the experiences of the same woman, addictions, lingerie model and lap-dancing?

Me

No this doesn’t sound stupid. Stacey needs to realize that some of her problems stem from her not making good choices. It’s a cycle although when the cycle first began Stacey had no control. She was molested as a child. But, this experience is controlling her behavior.

The experiences are not the same. Now, she no longer models lingerie or dances but she is still “acting out.”  Did I answer your question

?

Mary

Yes, I forgot about the earlier molestation. I see your point. I think that that contrast, between what she sees as being in her control and out of her control, is very good. She uses sex as a power play because that’s what she sees it as for the men. She enjoys the satisfaction she gives them, sees her own power, but also has no more than temporary satisfaction for herself, then more frustration.

Me

OMG you summed that up really well. It feels really good to know people understand what you are writing about. How can I make this clearer to the reader who I haven’t had a chance to speak with? Did you gain a better understanding because of our conversation

Mary

I think people compartmentalize things too much. We are physical, spiritual, mental and emotional beings. God made us that way. we are so out of balance because the world tells us we have to deal with all those separately. But for your book, maybe the explicit detail makes it harder to understand? I think — whoah! And I lose track of the real point until I step back and think it over. Maybe that’s just me.

The conversation with you helped me focus better but obviously you can’t have that with everybody. Check out the site I mentioned above, Christian Nymphos. See if you can message them and talk to them. I really kine some of their discussions but I haven’t been there in awhile. Marketing, networking …. eeuuuggh.

sorry I like some of their discussions. typos.

Me

I’ll check it out. Do you think my book is boring?

Mary

Heck no! But if it were mine, I would try to edit it down and make it tighter and shorter. That’s just how I do it.

My books get over 300 pages, I get nervous that I’m being too wordy.

Me

LOL. I had one woman tell me it was boring. She wanted me to write about Stacey’s life with her friend Stephanie. She wanted to know about the parties, the drugs etc. Will you go through each chapter and make suggestions as to how I can edit it down because I had 30,000 more words than this originally.

And at that time I wasn’t finished. When I got the proof I had no idea the book was that big. I have begun writing book 2 already

Mary

can’t believe anyone would say it was boring, per se, but sure, I can suggest some things after I finish. Some women just want a chick book or to dwell on the party parts, but that’s not your purpose.

Me

No. My purpose is really to draw people to Christ. That is my sincere desire.

My minister is totally against profanity

I was thinking this would be a good book for a sociology, psychology class. We used to read other books in addition to text books. Am I fooling myself or do you think this is possible?

Mary

can see that, especially in the later parts. I was surprised that people in her husband’s church didn’t know her, but then you said he wasn’t a minister when they got married, and it made more sense to understand her conflict.

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