In the grand scheme of things faith has caused me to realize that there has to be something greater out there. What I have come to discover is that for every whine that my son utters, for every innocent child who dies and for every single parent household there has to be a power greater who calls the shots. There has to be something that understands the baby’s cries of a crack addicted mother. Something that keeps the child alive although he hasn’t eaten in three days because his mother is busy chasing her next high. There has to be something that safely allows the 7 year old to cross the street to steal dinner for his younger siblings because his mother has sold her food stamps to the dope man for a shot of heroine. There has to be something that allows the single father to continue raising his teenage daughter to the best of his ability although he has given up on pulling her mother from the dope man’s house where she continues to sell her mind, body and soul to the dope man for her next fix. There has to be something better that reaches into the mind of the teenage dancer that allows her to grow up to live a semi productive normal life.After tripping on acid for so many times wondering if this is the actual tripp that will take you into the zone that you know only the mighty hand of God can pull you out of. There has to be something that only taints your mind instead of demolishing your life. When thinking back you realize that by all rites you should have been dead. There has to be something that tells you when you have sunken to playing handball against the sidewalk that you can still rise above your obstacles. The has to be something that tells the recovering alcoholic or addict who wakes up with night sweats, sweating one minute and freezing the next that this too shall pass. Just hold on for one more day without a drink, or a pill, a shot or a hit. Then has to be something that when a single mother is lying on the kitchen floor with a needle in her arm, a bottle in her mouth and a hit of acid on her tongue and she’s cursing something to take her away from this miserable life. And, the only temporary relief that she has is when her three year old child comes to the floor. He asks his mother for something to eat. She has to temporarily dry her tears, stand on her feet and fix her son breakfast, lunch or dinner. Upon hearing the child’s voice she realizes that although life has beat the hell out of her she has to stand and pretend as if she were the mother that her son deserves. She loves her drugs and only later, in a moment of clarity does she realize that it was only temporary guilt that allowed her to stand on her feet, and to walk though the empty beer cans making her way to the kitchen sink to find a pan to fix her son something to eat. Later in life she wonders where did that wave of emotion come from that allowed her to feel the guilt after so many years of feeling only numbness? Then she comes to her senses and realizes only in the grand scheme of things is there something better out there. That something must be the loving hand of a powerful, awesome and forgiving God….. Only in the grand scheme of the things can one truly understand the love that God has for all of his wavering children. Only in the grand scheme of things does one realize the true purpose of life is to form a personal relationship with a God to call your own.
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